Those who are dealing, or have dealt with a mental disorder, usually avoid soul-searching in order to discover the positive outcomes of the problem they have faced. Sometimes the hurdle has been so overwhelming and has led to intense feelings of despair, and therefore this soul-searching has not occurred to those people. Yet reflecting on the period that has passed since the hardship, might raise some insights about positive consequences of the obstacle faced. Normally, people tend to dwell on the negative outcomes of their misfortunes, while searching for positive outcomes seems unnatural and out of place, you must do so! Learn from your experiences, embrace your treatment and move forward with better mental health.

 During the last meeting with the self-help and support group I conducted at "Enosh" (an Israeli organization supporting those dealing with mental disabilities/disorders and their families), I asked the group members to share the positive outcomes of their disabilities.

 Normally, it is harder to focus on the donut than on the hole, in terms of personal life experiences. Speaking for myself, I sat down one day and made a list of the positive outcomes of dealing with my own problems.

 Since I got help, my outlook changed and I can give of myself so everyone involved is happier?, I used to be rather self-centered, regarding myself as an omnipotent person, who was able to do everything he set out to do. I have learned that I must set boundaries for myself.

 I have learned to say ''no'' when necessary, and mainly do things which give me pleasure. I used to be reluctant about doing things I didn't want to do. I have learned to do only what I love and enjoy doing. Thanks to my challenges, I met a wonderful woman, who totally accepts me, who gives me the space to do almost everything I do, and is supportive and backs me no matter what I do. My family has been more sensitive to my needs and desires, and so has my employer, as well as any other people or entities in my life. I would like to emphasize that I do not take advantage of that tolerance. I certainly put forth the effort, and prove myself and my abilities despite all that I have been through, even more so than in the past.

I found various new areas of interest and have had an opportunity to develop some previously unknown talents and skills, of which I was never aware of before, as I never had the means, the patience or the time to work on them. I developed my writing skills and continually hone them.

 As a young boy, I loved writing stories and poems. Throughout life, I let that passion fall to the wayside. My experience has evoked a strong need to express myself through writing all that I have been going through, to this very day. This skill of mine is becoming more refined each day. By all means, writing enables one to go wild, flying on the wings of imagination, regardless of any rules. It grants a person the opportunity to be transported and wander into new, dazzling worlds without leaving the comfort of home.

 I am more sensitive to others. I don't dwell on anger and don't let it build up inside me until I explode. If something bothers me, I will immediately get it off my chest. The ability to do so is especially healthy in the Israeli culture, and in light of the general atmosphere. Contrary to what so many others think, I believe the healthy way to deal with anger promotes goodness, though it makes people from other cultures regard Israelis as abrupt, rude people.

 I have led a more peaceful life, focusing more on spending time with my family and less effort on gathering material things. Instead of striving for a prosperous career, my previous foremost goal, now I give of myself to others. I concentrate on using my free time constructively, doing things I enjoy.

 Although some of my friends abandoned me, I have formed other good unions with people who can relate to what I have been going through.

 I am not afraid of exposure. I am proud to open up about my own story, without being concerned about prejudice. I walk with my head held high.

 Although I continue to be involved with many projects at once, something I used to do before, those projects are interesting and I feel connected to whatever I set out to do. I willingly work on them, and do so with all my heart and soul. Thus, there is no chance they will do me any harm.

 I have started taking interest in many other fields, which used to be merely a dream. I realized that one may contribute to the Israeli society even without doing reserve service, and stand up by your own right despite that.

 Always keep in mind, the positive aspects outweigh the negative when overcoming your adversities. I make it a point to build a strong foundation, stronger than the one I used to have. That way, I know that if a storm comes again in the future, I will not be caught off guard, and all that I have worked for and achieved will remain.

Written by Ronen David ©

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