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Those who are
dealing, or have dealt with a mental disorder, usually avoid
soul-searching in order to discover
the positive outcomes of the problem they have faced. Sometimes
the hurdle has been so overwhelming and has led to intense feelings
of despair, and therefore this soul-searching has not occurred to
those people. Yet reflecting on the period that has passed since
the hardship, might raise some insights about positive consequences
of the obstacle faced. Normally, people tend to dwell on the
negative outcomes of their misfortunes. While searching for positive
outcomes seems unnatural and out of place, you must do so! Learn
from your experiences, embrace your treatment and move forward with
better mental health.
During the
last meeting with the self-help and support group I conducted at
"Enosh" (an Israeli organization supporting those dealing with
mental disabilities/disorders and their families), I asked the group
members to share the positive outcomes of their disabilities.
Normally, it
is harder to focus on the donut than on the hole, in terms of
personal life experiences.
Speaking for
myself, I sat down one day and made a list of the positive outcomes
of dealing with my own problems.
Since I got
help, my outlook changed and I can give of myself so everyone
involved is happier?
I used to be
rather self-centered, regarding myself as an omnipotent person, who
was able to do everything he set out to do. I have learned that I
must set boundaries for myself.
I have
learned to say ''no'' when necessary, and mainly do things which
give me pleasure. I used to be reluctant about doing things I
didn’t want to do. I have learned to do only what I love and enjoy
doing. Thanks to my challenges, I met a wonderful woman, who
totally accepts me, who gives me the space to do almost everything I
do, and is supportive and backs me no matter what I do. My family
has been more sensitive to my needs and desires, and so has my
employer, as well as any other people or entities in my life. I
would like to emphasize that I do not take advantage of that
tolerance. I certainly put forth the effort, and prove myself and
my abilities despite all that I have been through, even more so than
in the past.
I found
various new areas of interest and have had an opportunity to develop
some previously unknown talents and skills, of which I was never
aware of before, as I never had the means, the patience or the time
to work on them. I developed my writing skills and continually hone
them.
As a young
boy, I loved writing stories and poems. Throughout life, I let that
passion fall to the wayside. My experience has evoked a strong need
to express myself through writing all that I have been going
through, to this very day. This skill of mine is becoming more
refined each day. By all means, writing enables one to go wild,
flying on the wings of imagination, regardless of any rules. It
grants a person the opportunity to be transported and wander into
new, dazzling worlds without leaving the comfort of home.
I am
more
sensitive to others. I don't dwell on anger and don't let it build
up inside me until I explode. If something bothers me, I will
immediately get it off my chest. The ability to do so is especially
healthy in the Israeli culture, and in light of the general
atmosphere. Contrary to what so many others think, I believe the
healthy way to deal with anger promotes goodness, though it makes
people from other cultures regard Israelis as abrupt, rude people.
I have led a
more peaceful life, focusing more on spending time with my family
and less effort on gathering material things. Instead of striving
for a prosperous career, my previous foremost goal, now I give of
myself to others. I concentrate on using my free time
constructively, doing things I enjoy.
Although some
of my friends abandoned me, I have formed other good unions with
people who can relate to what I have been going through.
I am
not
afraid of exposure. I am proud to open up about my own story,
without being concerned about prejudice. I walk with my head held
high.
Although I
continue to be involved with many projects at once, something I used
to do before, those projects are interesting and I feel connected to
whatever I set out to do. I willingly work on them, and do so with
all my heart and soul. Thus, there is no chance they will do me any
harm.
I have
started taking interest in many other fields, which used to be
merely a dream. I realized that one may contribute to the Israeli
society even without doing reserve service, and stand up by your own
right despite that.
Always keep
in mind, the positive aspects outweigh the negative when overcoming
your adversities. I make it a point to build a strong foundation,
stronger than the one I used to have. That way, I know that if a
storm comes again in the future, I will not be caught off guard, and
all that I have worked for and achieved will remain.
Written by Ronen David ©
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